Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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