is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
