I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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