Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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