Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
