quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
A+ Viking dick
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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