If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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