I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
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