I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Randomize