Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
