but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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