In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
