I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
