My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
