It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize