Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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