if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
