I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
