Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
