I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
