I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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