Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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