That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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