i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
