you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
