I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
