If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
