we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize