Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
