return my video game
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize