I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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