I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
