too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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