VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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