but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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