Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
