two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
