I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
