When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
