Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
