is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
