i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The dick lei will go down in squad history
is that a dick in a sweater?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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