sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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