I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She needs sedatives and a leash
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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