today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I need to wash the frat house off of me
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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