Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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