when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
