booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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