All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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