I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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