Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
