TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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