Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
