just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Randomize