john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
