I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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