You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
