i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
