yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
