is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
