Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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