why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
