Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
