i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
